Teatime
by Krackaroo21
Summary: While on a scaring spree with a scarecrow they found, Cuphead and Mugman go about the forest to scare the locals. Watch what happens as they try to scare Rumor Honeybottom and, the new Prime Minister, Elisabeth Combson. I own the story and the oc, Combson, but not Cuphead.


**Hello! How are you?** **Here is a short I made about one of the times the Cup Brothers got themselves in trouble. Now that I read back on my final product, I see how much I had the two be like George and Fred Weasley, which isn't a bad thing or anything. Just a little mIschievous.** **You can picture this to whether be before or after dealing with the devil, but I think it's before. Whatever you fancy though!** **By the way, I have a moment that references Thor's new movie...**

 **\--E--**

"I see you've taken the time to put in laced napkins... That's rather nice. The teacups are victorian... the baskets handmade and woven with silken yellow ribbon... Also you added half melted caramel and marshmallow drops in with the pudding." The Prime Minister says after studying the picnic, "It's delicious, and I do not even care for caramel!"

The Minister, Elizabeth Combson, a lady with plump lips, little makeup, a flattering business suit, and small antennas, is the head of a neighboring bee hive (recently overthrown to be a democracy). She's been called to host afternoon tea in the forest, while the other leader, Queen Honeybottom, brings a basket. It's for the sake of country relations. But now she examines the silverware. Admiring its craft.

"I see the designs in this spoon... It's a custom one, is it not?"

"Hem, yes." Rumor Honeybottom sips tea from a dainty cup, "You have a fine eye for such detail."

"I've always had appreciation for the little things in life. You remembered that about me, right?"

"Of course I do. Don't think that after all this time I forgot everything about you?"

Combson shakes her head, "We haven't met together since before my country's revolution."

"It's no dinner party, I know that much." The Queen curls a smile, "But how happy I was to find out you, of all your country, that my good friend would come to be prime minister! No surprise, but how glad!"

"Thank you kindly, your Majesty."

"Oh please," Honeybottom, who may have a posh dialect like the Minister, actually has a juicy New York accent, and says with her city's tongue, "I've gotten 'nuff of that treatment since the last time we've met!"

They laughed, but a laugh through their noses, almost like they're wheezing.

"Being leader definitely is taxing, but how honorable!"

"Much agreed."

They enjoy an assortment of almond berry cakes, honey on toast, dishes of soup, and finger sandwiches with olives stabbed through them. ("I love the cherry wood toothpicks, Queen!"). This afternoon's tea is like Christmas. Heart-warming, flowery, and tasty. But the chit-chat is over.

"Down to business..." The Queen starts, pulling out her spectacles and folder, "I have a number of reports to mention... options to go over... We need to get work done from this afternoon's tea at some point."

"Agreed." Combson does the same with her 2-inch thick folder, "There's documents to be stamped."

They get to work, which is mainly honey trade, peace treaty expiration dates, land barriers, support systems, other neighboring bee countries, honey production, and so forth.

 **\--E--**

In another part of the forest, Cagney Carnation uproots himself and sprints out of his garden. Every step he takes, which is rushed and unbalanced, he splutters every curse word known to most sailors.

"You stay away from me, you..." He curses and poisons every nearby ear, until he disappears.

Across from where he was is a scarecrow that just scared the flower senseless. Scratched and torn up to look like a haunted house's prime attraction. Ropes keep it up and suspended from the forest floor, but each one is hidden and controlled by Cuphead. A camera around his neck.

The boy chuckles, pulling a rope, lowering himself down with a wad of ropes in his hands. He pulls specific ones to manipulate different trees and pulleys, like one shakes this tree... one shakes the other... so on... so on... and this one keeps the pulleys working. Cuphead reaches the ground, then lowers another one from the wad, which lowers Mugman from the trees. He lands on a flower patch, giggling all the way.

"Hot dawg! That was the best scare yet!" He says, "We sure got 'im! Good thing you snapped pictures!"

"I couldn't believe someone could curse more than Porkrind!"

"What?! You didn't cover your ears for that?"

"'Course not, I'm a big cup."

Mugman rolls his eyes and pulls ropes in his hands. It makes the ropes in the trees fall down "Y'know, for as complicated as this prank is, it works well!"

"Yeah, we've just about perfected it this time."

After cleaning up their scaring supplies, the ropes, the pulleys, and making sure to pack away the scarecrow in a backpack, like a tent after camping, they head off. Hiking through a now empty forest, but by no means is it quiet. Their laughing gets louder as they talk about their victims. Looking at pictures.

"Cagney's face though!" Cuphead wipes his eyes, holding one up at the sun, "I need to laminate this... maybe use as blackmail."

Mugman snickers, "Ah, the blackmail... remember when we blackmailed--?"

The Cup flings his hand out to stop Mugman. His head turned towards a nearby lake not even 12 yards away.

"Cuppy--?"

"Look."

He leads them to hide behind a bush. Through the leaves and few berries, Mugman sees four bulldogs in trench coats and fedoras gang up on a cactus. Obviously, by the way they surround the cactus, they're not friendly. They bark at the plant-person and back him towards a lake's edge, threatening to push him in.

"The Mutt-Muckers!" Mugman snaps his fingers, "I remember those doggies... they're awful against green folk."

"Yeah, I saw 'em jump a sunflower the other day."

The cactus, who's named Clyde, backs up to the edge. His cactus appendages wobbling at every inch back. He stutters for his life. It may be a three foot drop, but as a cactus, he cannot swim.

"P-p-p-please don't--."

"Ah, shuddup, ya vegetable freak!" A dog growls with a terribly thick New Jersey accent, "Now, ya gonna hand o'er any coins on ya, or else ya get it."

Clyde shakes. "I-I-I--."

"Ah, shuddup!" They back him closer to the edge.

From a distance, Cuphead and Mugman frown. "Gosh," Cup says, "what a buncha jerks. I say we do somethin'."

"Ooh! D'you wanna do 'Get Help'?"

Cuphead starts to shake with a fresh grin, "Really? Okay, that sounds great! 'Cept you getta do it 'cause I did it the last time."

"Fine, let's hurry."

"'Kay, 'kay, 'nuff messin' 'round." A dog says, "Give us your dough. Las' chance."

Clyde prays for help.

"Have it your way then--."

"GET HELP! QUICK!"

The dogs drop their attention, their menace, and bring it towards oncoming figures. Cuphead has tears streaming off his cheeks, dragging a headless Mugman at his side. They trudge closer.

"QUICK! MY BROTHER! YOU HAFTA HELP! HE'S DYING! HELP! PLEASE! HE'S TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

"Whoa, whoa, kid, we ain't doctors..."

"SAVE HIM!" Cuphead yells, exaggerating every step he takes, like chains hold him back. "PLEASE!"

Then, out of the blue, he throws Mugman's body at them, slamming them like a wrecking ball. It sends the dogs into the murky lake, and luckily Clyde stepped out of the way in time. If Cuphead didn't have a rope straped to Mug's arm, then he couldn't have pulled him back, but he does and saves Mug from in falling too.

Cup wipes off fake tears, which was only milk, "That was perfect! I say we put on a good show there." He gives his brother a punch on the shoulder, who also jumps in victory.

Clyde the cactus doesn't know what to make of this. "Uh... th-th-thanks, but, does that g-g-guy need any help, er--."

"HEY!" The dogs roar, clawing up from the edge, soaked from hat to trench coat, "YOU C'MERE, YOU PUNKS!"

"And that's our cue to leave," Cuphead takes his head off, almost like tipping a hat, and tosses Mugman over his shoulder, then books it. Laughing all the way.

The chase is short-lived, which is lucky for Cuphead, who might've tripped over a root and drop Mugman because he was laughing too much. He may pee himself. Yet he loses them and finds a tree to rest against. He lays Mugman against it. Breathing hard, he's tickled with that "Get Help" trick.

"It always gets 'em!"

Mugman would agree, but he didn't see any of it, neither can he say anything. He taps Cup's shoulder long enough to annoy him.

"Okay, okay, I'll get your head back..." Cup gets up to look through bushes, "Where'd I put ya at again?"

"Well..." A distant voice says, "you're ice right now."

"Am I gettin' warmer?"

"Nah, still cold."

"Warmer?"

"Not even close."

"How 'bout now?"

"Nope."

"C'mon, can't you just yell?"

"No, that's cheating."

Cuphead feels around bushes, only finding squirrels. "Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"You're bad at this!"

"Whatever! ...Now?"

"No."

He feels around a second bush. "Oh I remember that I left you here. Did you move?"

"Maybe..."

"That's actually impressive."

"Thanks. I've been working on it..."

Bird chirp.

"Am I warmer?"

"No."

"I have to be now. You couldn't move that far."

"Nah, you're ice again."

Bird chirp.

"Now?"

"No."

"Lier," Cuphead rounds on a rubbery bush, "your voice's louder."

Sticking his hands in the bush, he feels around for anything familiar. The dirt is spongy cake between his fingers. Branches poke him, and occasionally bugs, but then he finds a handle. He pulls out Mugman.

"Ha, found ya." Cuphead says, "I shoulda put you to watch what happened. It was the best!"

"Sounds great. Did'ja take any pictures?"

"Nah, didn't have the chance."

Halfway back to Mug's body, Cup has an idea and takes his finger.

"What are you doin'?"

He pokes Mugman's nose, "BOOP!"

"Wh-wha-- No!"

"BOOP!"

"Stop that!"

"BOOP! BOOP!"

"This is why I hate being it for 'Get Help'!" Mugman whines, "My nose itches now!"

"Oh, lemme get that for ya-- BOOP!"

Out of nowhere, Mugman's body wobbles around the bushes and steals its head back, stealing it with an quick, impatient swipe. His head pops on like magnets; he adjusts it and crosses arms.

"What? Couldn't help it! You have the best nose outta the two of us, y'know."

He blushes, hitting Cuphead's shoulder before snatching the backpack and moving on.

"Oh c'mon, don't be a sour puss!"

After that, they couldn't find anymore victims to terrorize. The forest is nearly abandoned when word spread about a haunted scarecrow. They hike instead, looking at the flowers and photographs of Cagney's screaming face. Their laughing chase the birds away.

"Ah, brother, today's been a success." Cuphead pats himself on the back, "I say today's the best we've had since last-last-last thursday."

"I say we try another prank next week. I have a good idea about pranking the Root Pack again."

"Oh, but we can't, remember? We made Weepy cry and Elder Kettle found out... So let's not get grounded again and see about gettin' Groopy instead."

"Okay, I guess we could..."

Trees thicken as they progress. Lacking sunlight makes the forest floor a little darker and a little greener, to the point where green light shows the way. It's lovely, but so is the smell of almond oil and honey mixing with the daffodils. It's so misplaced, but makes the breeze curiously nice.

"You smell that?"

Mug sticks his nose in the air, snorts, and nods. "Smells like cupcakes."

Cuphead crouches down, taking the backpack off the brother, unpacking. "I bet there's a picnic or somethin' 'round here."

"Ah!" Eyes sparkle, "Another scare! This'll be the fourth one today!"

"I say afterwards we go to a soda jerk in town and get sarsaparilla. Y'know, for celebration sake."

"Fine by me!"

"Let's get ready."

 **\--E--**

"Yes, but if we do follow through with old policy, then our workers will have to collect nectar when your workers come, making everything crowded. It'll be so inefficient."

Honeybottom looks back at her documents, licking her fingers to flip to page 27. "So it seems to be... I'll work that out when I return, but for now I don't see why we can't use the old policy."

"Oh it's completely fine," Combson sips from her teacup, finishing it, which is the third time she'll have to ask for more, "I just need know if we'll establish the same code and shares as before."

"Not quite. I have my workers use different ways to harvest nectar, so we always have 3 percent more than normal. I say for land shares, we split it fifty-fifty like we've done before, but a part of our produces will be given to you if we can harvest in your eastern lands."

"...What type of products do you have in mind, Queen?"

"I've taken the action to put honey samples in the picnic basket. Try any you please, my friend."

Raspberry honey. Mango honey. Strawberry honey. All the fruit honeys have the seeds still in them, with handmade labels and coverings to each jar. The Prime Minister samples the lemon honey, then a drop of cinnamon honey.

Honeybottom fills her little teacup for the fifth time. "You prefer the tart over the sweet?"

She smiles, "I find it finer than sugar."

"I didn't know that about you."

Combson spreads lemon honey over toast. "I do like these honeys. Well crafted, and I see you've used natural preservatives by the way it's jared... We do the same with ours. I'll consider it, but I'm not a queen, so I have to talk with my branch before any decisions."

"Fair is fair."

The tea goes on. Tea runs out, but the Queen boils more in her fancy, magical teapot. Documents goes on. But, abnormally, rustling in the trees pick up Minister Combson's attention, picking up whisperings, but thinks nothing of it. She circles a citation.

"That only thing we need to address now is the peace treaty. It expires next year."

"Talk with your branch and I'll see it through as well with my left hand man."

"Alright... Please sign here so I can bring it up in a meeting."

"You need a signature?"

"Yes. Rather dim, isn't it?"

The Queen rolls her eyes, smiling, and signs. She tries to give it back, but Combson looks up towards the treetops.

"Something wrong, Elizabeth?"

Silence. The tea starts to whistle.

"No," She decides, "I guess not."

("Brother, she totally saw you!"

"No she didn't. she saw your straw!")

"Would you like more tea?"

"Please. These teacups are priceless, but too small."

"Agreed."

Without putting any sugarcubes in, the Minister sips her tea. Paranoid. Eyeing the trees like a monkey may drop down and attack. It normally wouldn't bother her, but today she didn't bring her guards, neither did the Queen, for the sake of a private discussion, so they are almost sitting ducks. Perhaps spies?

"Queen," She interrupts the her report on worker lunch breaks, "I think something's watching us from above."

"You're religious too?"

"No, I mean something's..."

Like a cue, the trees rattle. Shaking with precise movements, unearthly to any breeze. The Queen, picking up the strange thing, begins to shift in her seat as branches snap. She calmly sips tea and looks to the other.

She mouths, "Let's fly out of here."

Before the Minister agrees, it goes dark. The Ladies look up to a humanoid beast hovering over them. A toren face with scars for a smile. It's arms reaching. A blood-curtling scream. Harrowing to the bees.

Dropping the teacups to shatter, they shriek and flee from existence. Flying over bushes and weaving through trees, forgetting everything about a meeting and bolt through the trees.

"That was too easy!" Cuphead laughs, "Let's follow and get 'em again!"

"Sounds like a plan!"

Filled with mischievousness, the cups follow, leaping tree to tree and dragging their ropes and scarecrow. It doesn't take long to find the bees again. Their screaming is louder than Cagney's. Much easier to track. Much more hilarious. It only gets louder as they trail them, the scarecrow flying towards them at chilling speeds. From below the Ladies see the beast and fly again, slamming into tree limbs.

"What is that horrible creature?!"

"Queen, I don't know, but It's terrifying!" Combson looks back.

"Just fly, you fool!"

The trees, or the cups, cackle and shake more for the full effect. This scare is too rich to quit at just that; they follow them further, which may have been a quarter mile. Trees thin, but they keep the act on, leaping further to meet the demand, until they reach a dead end.

The bees fly out of the forest, flying into the field where the trees don't cross the line into grasslands. Grass and trees form a perfect barrier, like two country's borders. But, unable to carry on, they collabs. Gulping air and looking back at the beast.

"Oh my," The Queen fans herself, "what a day to leave the guards at home!"

The scarecrow stops at the border, shaking and cackling with a sick joke.

Minister Combson didn't think it was the end, although her blood certainly freezes in her joints. Something doesn't add up. Why doesn't this beast lunge out and attack? With her sharp eyes, she absorbs details.

(Mugman shakes the trees, but begins to cut off his laughter and worry as the Minister stops cowering and sees them. "Uh, Cuppy?"

He can't stop laughing at the Queen's reaction. "Yeah?!"

"St-stop! I think they're startin' to see through it."

"Yeah right, the Bee Queen's literally shaking!"

"B-b-but..." Mugman sips from his head, "I think we've gone on enough. Let's see if we can scare someone else."

"Don't be a wuss, Mugsy!")

The Prime Minister cocks a brow, more like a furrow, and turns to the panicking monarch. "Queen-Queen, stop screaming... This has gone on long enough, I feel."

The Queen stops, calms down, and realizes her point. It takes a while, of course. "Ah... um, well, I see. What a second," She squints, "are those ropes?"

("Cuppy, enough! Abort! Abort!"

"Nah, we got this! We can scare 'em to run across the field like mice! We just need to...")

In a flash the Ladies fly up to face the scarecrow, at a safe distance, and study the ropes. Seeing ropes and strange pulleys dangling down. The cups couldn't set ropes up at every tree, so they just dragged them to catch up with their victims. But now it gives them away.

"Ropes... so they are, Queen."

(Cuphead slowly turns to Mug, "Uh oh..."

"I told you!")

Honeybottom calls out angrily, "Who's there?"

"Yes, I would like to know too."

The boys look at each other, beginning to pack away their supplies, pulling up the scarecrow as gingerly as possible. The air thickens. Any moment they can be caught. Everything gets flammable, like a bomb could go off, or worse the bees could chase them.

"As Queen I demand you show yourselves!"

Mugman panics, regretting the scare. He remorses getting caught, but he does these things with Cuphead anyway. But now they must flee or face the Queen's wrath.

"Forget about the ropes! Just run!" Cuphead says, a shiver in his legs, and leads them away.

"Get down here!"

A second later, a blink later, a mistake later, Cup slips off a tree. Unfortunately he held Mugman's hand at the time, so the brother falls down too. Yet they don't crack their cups. The jumble of ropes tangled them on the way down, so Cuphead and Mugman dangle above the ground. Ropes restricting their strugglings. Milk and straws spilt. Now the Ladies buzz up to them, glowering.

"So," The Minister frowns like a freshwater bass, "a couple of teacups are behind this?"

"Appears to be so."

"I say we plot their punishment."

"Yes, there's a responsible prime minister if I've ever seen one."

Mug cringes, pulling the ropes on his legs to give, and panics. "I knew we should've aborted! You done goofed, Cuppy!"

Cuphead can't escape either, "Hey, you're the one who goofed too!"

"How?! We could've gotten away if you listened to me!"

They slap each other. Arguing.

"I told you not to go on! And did you listen?"

"C'mon, you pranked them too--."

"No! You ignored me and now we're stuck!"

"Don't be a sippy cup--."

"Sippy cup?!"

"ENOUGH!"

The brothers fume to themselves, but change into a cooler, regretting tone as the Prime Minister and Queen glare the color out of them. Red to pale.

"You cups need to know not to mess with ladies."

 **\--E--**

Recycling the ropes into their own use, first tossing the scarecrow into the lake, the Ladies have new teacups for their meeting. While Cuphead and Mugman are headless and tied to a tree, struggling and kicking for freedom, like they have headaches, tea pours into their heads in the hands of their victims. Orange green tea. How unpleasant it is to have honey collect at the bottom, a spoon clanking around their heads?

"This is terrible..." Mugman whines as Combson sips off him, her plump lips distressing his rim, "I'll never forgive you, Cuphead!"

"This is your fault too--!"

"Quiet, teacups!" The Queen barks, then settles back into the discussion about foreign policy. "Now about that citation..."

"Yes, but first may I compliment these cups that are much more economical than our first set?"

The Queen sips off of Cuphead, "Agreed."

The brothers look at each other. Being used as a cup is not traumatizing, but it does make you ticklish and annoyed faster than a stranger pulling your hair. They both know that they're not going so soon.

They will have to stay for all of teatime.

 **\--E--**

 **Stay tunes for an upcoming Mario Bros fic!** **Have a golly good day!**


End file.
